To obey our parents is to obey Allah (S.W.A). Allah (S.W.A) commands us to obey our parents
next time himself. He speaks:
Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but him, and that you be
kind to your parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel
them, but address them in terms of honor (17:23).
We have enjoined on man kindness to
his parents: but if they strive (to force) you to join with Me (Allah) (in worship) anything of which you have no knowledge,
obey them not. You have (all) to return to me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all that you did (29:8) .
we enjoined on man to be good to his parents: In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his
weaning: (hear the command)'Show gratitude to me and to your parents: to me is (your final) Goal (31:14).
is it so important to obey our parents? Our parents are the closest well-wishers for us after Allah (S.W.A). In normal circumstances,
where mental problems do not exist, parents are ready to sacrifice all they have for the sake of their children. Some people
may deny this statement arguing that their parents are very mean, and therefore, they just exist. Yes, I agree, and I understand;
things can really get sour between parents and their children. The major cause of this bitter friction is disobedience. Any
kind of independence that encourages us children to disobey our parents is not for us, Muslim children. We need our parental
care and guidance. This little story from
Mr. Og Mandino's book, Secrets for Success & Happiness, explains the importance of our parents right
to the point. Mr.Og explains that a friend was entertaining a visitor one day when their conversation got around to children.
"I Believe" said the visitor, "that the children should be given a free rein to think and act, thus learn at an early age
to make their own decisions. That is the only way they can grow to their full potential". The host, Mr. Og continues, interrupted
the visitor and said, "I would like you to see my flower garden", and he led the visitor outside. The visitor took one look
and exclaimed, "Why this is nothing but a yard full of weeds!" "Well, smiled the host, It was filled with roses, but this
year I thought I would let the garden grow as it willed without my tending to it. And you can see the results". At least the
visitor in our story had noble intentions; though they turned out to be faulty. Unfortunately, the aim of many advocates of
Children's Independence is exploitative in nature. Sadly for us, if we listen to the call of these opportunists and ignore
our dear parents for whatever reason- backwardness, uneducated, poor, low class etc- we may end up corrupted so badly that
we lose our spiritual welbeing and consequently our souls. A life with a stunted soul is hollow, very unhappy and tragic.
No parent can sit and witness anyone exploit and abuse his/her child. If it is to fight, parents would
put up a good fight for the sake of their children. Have you not observed how parents are madly in love
with their babies? This love never fades as babies grow into teenagers. So, what does one do to catch a prey that is heavily
guarded by madly loving parents? If you said you isolate the prey, you are very right. How do you do that? Make children feel
independent of their parents. The exploiters, by promising teenagers premature independence, manage to cut the cord that binds
a child to his or her parents forever - the cord of obedience. A disobedient child is like a caboose that breaks off the main
train; anything can happen to it. It can gently stop, if its speed is not too high, or if a foreign object gets in the way
(law), or it can get derailed. When we disobey our parents, we are completely on our own. Only a few exceptional parents can
keep their obligated duty to a disobedient, verbally and bodily disrespectful child. Love itself is not strong enough to bind
the relationship. Besides, what is the use of talking to someone or counseling someone who chooses not to listen? My dear
brothers and sisters, all those lectures about self-expression, self-determination, It's your life, no one should control
you, etc are all a bunch of lies aimed at making us stray sheep instead of independent individuals. It is our parents who
have the purest of love and intentions for us. Those who call us to premature independence and freedom are in fact seducing
us into cages of servitude. You do not believe me? Ask any prostitute and she will confirm. Prostitutes do exactly as they
are told. Then, where is independence? Even if the situation at home is not normal, still it is extremely important that we
obey our parents provided the contention is not about making us disobey Allah (S.W.A). Even then, Allah (S.W.A) wants us to
stay close to our parents.
To Be Continued.